just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
