honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
