you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize