so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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