I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
