I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
