I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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