at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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