can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
