dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
