woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
