Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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