how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
