We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
