Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
