what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We're too hungover to prance.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
