Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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