a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
