Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
