I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize