I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
