So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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