The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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