Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
