Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
