Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
