My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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