Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
