is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
