Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
