just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
