Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
