Non-Jews are for practice
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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