What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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