Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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