They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I supernannyed him into submission
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize