Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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