nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
