Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
