btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
