Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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