Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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