Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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