NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Your cock deserves a montage
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
