Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
