we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i think my cat just said my name.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
