if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
