"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize