There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
