I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
COCAINE IS GR8
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
