He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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