It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
