Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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