I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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