This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
